


i wish for constellations

by orphan_account



Series: cancelling the apocalypse [1]
Category: Captain America
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, First Meetings, Meet-Cute, Something to prove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 06:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky's heard of the Rogers. Of course he has, who hasn't. Sarah Rogers was one of the best damn pilots since the program began. She piloted the Gen 1's alongside Namor Atlante, Peggy Carter and the Richards. When her son graduated the Academy, in the very first class, they became unstoppable in their fresh off the line Gen 2, Alpha Juggernaut. Bucky had a poster of all the Gen 1 pilots on his wall as a kid.</p><p>Then she stepped down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i wish for constellations

Bucky's heard of the Rogers. Of course he has, who hasn't. Sarah Rogers was one of the best damn pilots since the program began. She piloted the Gen 1's alongside Namor Atlante, Peggy Carter and the Richards. When her son graduated the Academy, in the very first class, they became unstoppable in their fresh off the line Gen 2, Alpha Juggernaut. Bucky had a poster of all the Gen 1 pilots on his wall as a kid.

Then she stepped down.

That was almost a year ago. Her son, Steve, attempted to drift with a few different pilots. He and Namor went out together when a Kaiju threatened Macau, but something went wrong and they were the ones who had to be saved. There were rumors of Steve going into the simulator with a countless number of applicants and something going wrong each time. He wasn't compatible with any of them. Even in the Academy they heard the rumors. Bucky heard the rumors.

With all the rumors floating around, he doesn't ever think that they would try to pair him up with Steve Rogers. Everyone says drift compatible pilots have to be best friends or lovers or relatives or some combination. Strangers don't get into the drift together. But then Marshal Rambeau is sitting him down at her desk.

"You're a good student, Barnes," she says simply, thumbing through a file. "One of our best. Though you consistently lose points for being taking orders too much to heart."

"Ma'am-"

"I'm not done." She doesn't even look up. "But that makes sense, your dad is military, right?"

"Yes, ma'am. He died in the first attack trying to protect San Francisco." Bucky still has one of his dog tags on the same chain as his own. His sister has the matching one.

Monica nods, of course she already knew. It's there in the file. "But you've never shown any sign of seeking vengeance, not in drift sessions and not with the psychologists."

It's not a question but she looks at him expectantly as if he should have some explanation. "It's- What's the point? The Kaiju are monsters. And the Kaiju who did it was taken down. I need- I want to protect other people." He stares down at his hands. He remembers his little sister the day they heard the news. "No one else should lose a dad."

Monica doesn't say anything for awhile and Bucky has to force himself to sit still. She simply sits there, flipping through reports, looking back and forth at different pages, hmming softly. Occasionally she adds notes to the margins or crosses something else. Bucky starts to wonder if she simply forgot about him. And then there's a knock. It's soft but echoes loudly in the otherwise quiet office. "Come in," Monica says brusquely, quickly gathering all the papers and stacking them in a neat pile. Bucky looks back to see who is joining them and immediately jumps to his feet. "Barnes, I assume you've heard of Ranger Steve Rogers."

"Of course, it's an honor-"

"Please don't salute." Steve smiles shyly and holds out a hand instead. Hesitantly, as if this is some new test, Bucky reaches out and shakes his head. "It's a pleasure…"

"James Barnes. Cadet. Cadet James-"

"Sit down, Barnes," Monica orders, thankfully cutting off his rambling.

"Marshall," Steve sighs softly, taking the seat beside Bucky. "No offense, Barnes, but he's a kid."

"I'm not a kid," Bucky snaps, immediately sitting up a little straighter. Steve purses his lips and looks ready to argue. 

"He's right," Monica says before either can form a word, neatly cutting off the argument. "Gave up that title on K-Day. I wanted to give you a chance to introduce yourselves to each other before facing off in the Kwoon."

"May I be dismissed to go change, Marshall?" Bucky asks. Steve is looking at him hard now, trying to read between all the lines that Monica keeps on dropping. He doesn't want to talk about K-Day. Not to a stranger, not to someone who only faced a Kaiju through the control unit of a Jaeger. At the same time, he's terrified that a fight with Steve, someone who already has four kills, will only prove him right. He's just a kid pretending to be a hero.

"Dismissed. I expect you there in one hour."

He snaps a sharp salute and disappears, Steve's eyes on his back. Bucky starts running as soon as he turns a corner. He spends the hour trying to calm himself in his small quarters. Luckily his bunkmate, Sharon, is gone but even without interruptions he can't sit still. With a half hour to spare, he makes his way to the Kwoon Room. There are only a few people there sparring. No one has any idea of the fight he's about to face. But the room with the familiar sound of wood on wood, finally helps him relax. He closes his eyes to meditate for the remaining time. It almost catches him by surprise when someone taps him on the shoulder.

"Ready?" Deputy Marshall Woo asks softly, almost sympathetically.

Bucky stands slowly, refusing to be rushed even with Steve and Marshall Rambeau both there and watching him now. A small crowd has even started to gather. Sharon is there now and towards the back someone who might be Van Dyne and her husband Pym. He pushes the thought of Steve having friends in the audience down and away. He can do this. 

"You can still back out, I'd understand," Steve says softly, trying to pitch his voice so no one hears. "Everyone would understand." Steve has a long bo staff in one hand but Bucky prefers billy clubs. The Marshall looks intrigued by his choice, almost approving, but doesn't say a word.

"I'm not a coward," Bucky says stiffly, coming back to stand in front of Steve.

"You're young though."

"You faced your first Kaiju at seventeen after being accelerated through the Academy because of your high drift potential with your mother. I'm seventeen now." Steve's stern expression falters, and for a second he looks caught off balance. Bucky takes a few steps back and settles into a fighting stance. "Ready."

Steve nods. "Ready." Steve tries to use the length of his weapon to his advantage, keeping Bucky from getting too close and winning the first point. Bucky takes the second easily, ducking under the bo staff and taking Steve off guard. He can hear the crowd getting louder as the fighting gets more intense, but it feels distant and far away. There is no one but him and Steve and they move in perfect sync. The fight will be a stalemate, he can see that by the time they're tied two all. They both reach three in the same move, Bucky with one of his clubs at Steve's crotch and Steve's staff against his neck.

"Good," Rambeau's voice cuts into their world and this close, Bucky can see that Steve had been just as lost as he was. "The next step is a drift test in the simulator. Two minutes boys, clean up." They disentangle quickly and quickly get their weapons put away. Bucky's eyes meet Sharon's and she grins at him and throws him a thumbs up. He rolls his eyes but looking at Steve he thinks maybe he has done well. The simulator will be the real test but he knows it's just icing on the cake. Steve's eyes meet his as they follow the Marshall and Deputy to the simulator.

"Did you?" Steve murmurs, almost drowned out by their foot steps.

"Yea. You?"

Steve blushes and breaks eye contact. Bucky takes that as a yes. "You fight like Dugan."

"He trained me."

"You've got to learn to relax. A Kaiju doesn't fight like a person, they're animals, you have to be ready for the unexpected."

Bucky bites his tongue, he's gotten this far, he might end up in a Jaeger by the end of the week. Snapping at Steve Rogers won't help him get there even if he has heard all of this in his lessons. They don't say anything else to each other until they reach the simulator. They even change in silence while the Marshall oversees the start up and presumably chooses what they're going to face.

"She won't make it easy," Bucky says when they finally step into the chamber.

"I don't expect her to. I prefer the left, is that okay?"

Bucky shrugs and plugs himself in on the right side. He feels the usual nervousness twist in his belly. It happens before each time he drifts, already anticipating how it won't work and he'll be violently thrown out of the drift. If he's lucky. If he's not, he'll get stuck in an old painful memory, he already knows the one. 

"Ready?" Steve asks, glancing over at Bucky.

"As I'll ever be." He takes a deep breath as Maya's voice comes over their earpieces.

"Initiating neural handshake in three- two- one and neural handshake is a go."

It hits Bucky hard. Steve is- he's different then the other people Bucky has drifted with. Sharon's mind is overwhelming and loud. And Toro let Bucky steamroller him and in the end he took too much of the neural connection on himself. With Steve, it's right and it almost shocks him. It's never felt right with anyone before. Steve's memories are all there, laid out for him to look through and all he has to do is sit back and let the handshake steady itself. Except then something goes wrong, he feels Steve slip up at a memory of his mother.

Bucky feels the easy calm fade and shatter and he screams, clawing at it to get it back, to return to himself and to - _his dad is somewhere out there and he_ -

"Bucky!"

A hand grips his shoulder and shakes him hard. It almost hurts where it's digging in between the joints of the suit and into flesh. He focuses on that and pushes the memory away.

"That's it Bucky, focus on my voice, I'm so sorry."

Bucky yanks the helmet off and lets it drop to the floor. He can feel Steve's hands on him, working to disconnect him from the simulator.

"I'm sorry, I should have warned you with all my mom's memories in my head too…" Steve whispers, sounding heartbroken. Bucky looks up at Steve, wanting to ask about the memory but realizing he doesn't have to. He knows the answer.

"No, it's fine. Let's try again."

"What?"

He's already reaching for his helmet, pulling it back on so he can hear Maya cursing at them in a variety of languages while demanding answers. "Hey, Maya. Sorry. Can we have another go?"

"What in every single damn hell just happened?" She snaps instead.

"It was my fault, Maya," Steve answers. He meets Bucky's eyes and smiles. They're in this together. "I let myself get distracted. I'm ready now. We're ready."

They can hear her huffed sigh through the ear piece. "Fine. Give me a second to recalibrate." Bucky takes a deep breath to steady himself. "Alright. Initializing neural handshake in three- two- _one_."

**Author's Note:**

> title from into the blue by bush
> 
> this au is eating my brain halp


End file.
